This evening, Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj described the nature of anger and how we can curb it. Anger, he explained, is a reflex inbuilt within us that arises from the mind. Driven by ego, we expect things to go our way, and when they don’t, the mind responds with anger.
While we may assume that anger might help turn the situation around, or get the other person’s attention, it only makes matters worse, especially if our anger is reciprocated with anger. It is possible, however, to curb our anger. He said the first thing to realize is that anger does not help solve the situation in any way. Second, when others’ understanding of a situation is different from ours, we should learn to be tolerant of the differing perspectives, and refrain from trying to change or reform them. The only person that we can change is ourselves.
Third, we should take care to not react too quickly or hastily in any situation. Often when we do so, we react without the benefit of all the information about the situation. This is where listening comes in, Sant Rajinder Singh Ji said. If we make the effort to truly listen to the other person, that alone may help dissipate the situation, as the other person feels heard and listened to. Fourth, if we sense that anger is arising within us, we should take the time to slow down and cool off before we respond. This can help cool the flames of anger. Furthermore, he said, as we meditate on a regular basis, we find that we develop a different perspective on life. This in turn helps us respond to any situation in a calmer, more peaceful and loving manner.
